‘Let them know you are there’: Women on and off the Football pitch
- beccajbolton
- Oct 4, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 12, 2021
Before I begin, I’d like to make the point that this is not a blog telling women to play football, or even to play sport. Instead, I want to share how I feel when I play, and how it altered the way I have been viewing myself as a female for my entire life. My goal (pun intended) is to encourage women to chase that feeling and to understand that there is a difference between how we feel we should walk through the world and how we can walk through the world.
Let me kick off (oh she’s on fire) by sharing a few common phrases I hear during training and in a game situation:
Let them know you are there.
As a defender, it is important that I make enough contact with my opponent to make sure the opposition knows I am on them and will not back down easily. I have been told to press my hand against their backs during corner kicks to cause discomfort and throw them off.
Do not say sorry.
It is a habit of mine to immediately apologise for having shoulder barged another player too hard or if I accidentally step on a foot. It is a knee jerk reaction. However, to say sorry tells the opposition that I am less prepared to be aggressive and show strength.
Be loud. Talk.
As a centre back, I am best positioned to see the whole game being played out in front of me. If I do not speak up and warn my team of oncoming danger or highlight options for them, gaps in our play start to appear and the team suffers from a disconnect that could potentially throw a game. Communication scores goals.
Be competitive.
Very simple. No drive to win, no win.
What I came to notice was that these words of encouragement tended to only come up when I played football. It was rare that I ever received this kind of reinforcement in my day-to-day life. Why is that?
I’ll tell you exactly why. It is because, as women, we are generally encouraged to do the exact opposite of the above. We are encouraged to be quiet, submissive and to not take up space. If we are loud and assertive, we are deemed overly aggressive and bossy, if we are competitive, we are cold and unfeeling, if we take up space, we are abrasive to those around us. Women are plagued with self-consciousness. We are constantly aware of ourselves, our bodies and behaviour as we have been led to believe that being in control of these qualities and conveying them in the “correct” and “expected” way is what will make or break us as individuals.
Playing football, for me, offers temporary respite from this as I get to see what it is like to move through the world as a person without my sex being the first thing that people see and draw conclusions from. This is when I feel liberated. People care about what I can do and how I perform, not what I look like or how I “come across”. I am valued for my capability and potential and this is when I feel seen.
Football offers an experience where being loud, competitive and assertive is celebrated. I come away with a powerful feeling and a realisation that what has been holding me back is my context, not me.
This is not to say that football is the only way women can experience what I have experienced. Sport does not have to be the only avenue. I am making the broader point that we can go forward with this mind-set in everyday life but we need to pioneer it and force it into existence because no one else is going to do it for us.
Take up space, do not apologise and speak up.
Becca Bolton
P.S. Just because it would be a missed opportunity not to and just in case you felt inspired, below are a few amazing campaigns that should definitely be watched and definitely be shared:
US Open - Women Worth Watching
BBC - Change the Game
Nike – Dream
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